That None Should Perish

June 24, 2026

I am an epileptic and have been since childhood. I prayed about it, been prayed over but the answer is no. This is something that keeps me humble and leads me closer to Him as I have learned to lean on Him and trust Him even more.

I don’t share this with many people as it is not really necessary, but now God is telling me otherwise. So I am trusting you.

Back in 2023, I had a total left knee replacement. I had done a year and a half of therapy beforehand so I was prepared and was released to come home, did all of my therapy and was recovering very well.

I had my surgery 2 weeks before Christmas. I had an excellent surgeon, who I thought had gone over my meds and allergies, but he didn’t. I have a long list of drug allergies and I was prescribed the wrong pills for my recovery. I found out later and I was angry with him. During recovery in the hospital I had a grand mal seizure and had to stay overnight for 2 nights.

Then, in February 2024, I had 3 seizures in 3 nights, all grand mal, in my sleep. I kept telling hubby I didn’t want to go in but he took me to the emergency room and I stayed overnight. This was because of the residual meds after surgery going out of my system, the ones that were misprescribed. It takes a while for them to totally leave your system, and by then I was on the right meds.

Let me explain how it felt. I went through a very dark valley. Nothing but darkness, except for a very dim light in the distance. I wanted to get closer to the light. I needed that light as it was my hope.

I literally felt that my brain had shut down, I couldn’t think, form words or talk. I am not sure how long it lasted, but I felt like my mind was full of cotton, like a store dummy. It hurt to think. I could not think. It felt like cobwebs were up in my mind and I couldn’t clear them away. I felt like a mummy and I wanted out!

Everything was fuzzy, out of focus. I couldn’t see clearly.

My tongue did not want to work, I had to learn how to drink a glass of water without dribbling all over myself. I could not talk. I could not form words, or even think of what to say.

My family was worried and thought it was worse, so did my doctors.

BUT I slowly came through that dark valley! Jesus was waiting for me with a lamp showing the way!

Through God’s mercy and love, I recovered fully from it. And HE surprised me with something extra! Not only did I remember things, but things from the past that I thought had lost forever. 

He told me it was okay to be angry. He did not rebuke me for my anger. He loved me through the anger and told me everything was going to be alright.

And then He blessed me! Everything that the seizures had taken away were restored!

All of my memories came back!

He called ME HIS Daughter!

I used to think of epilepsy as a burden, but He turned it into a gift! Before I had my surgery, I had gone 12 years without a seizure. I was upset with the doctor, actually very angry, but He took that anger away and I have forgiven him. There were things I learned in school but never really understood, like math. But I see it now in a different way, and understand and use it a lot. I never learned geometry but I do now and it helps me with my quilting.

He also helped me to look at people and to see people their pain, and I can understand how they are feeling. He has opened my heart so that I can pray for them.

To God Be The Glory!